The Private Diary of Adam Nagourney

2/23/2005

I Want to be a White House Hooker

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:38 pm

Now what alias should I use?? I’m thinking of possibly going with Alex Hagourney because Alex is SO much easier to say than Adam.

In studying GannonGuckert I found that the logical next step to breaking through White House security is to grab several male escort domains to promote my own hooker services. I am thinking something along the lines of www.msmescortsm4m.com. More on that later…

The final step in the JeffJames GannonGuckert White House Hooker transformation process is to boost your journalistic credibility by having a degree in Physical Education from a state school in Pennsylvania. This will ensure I am in top shape for my “clients.”

Maybe if I can complete the above I too could receive unprecedented access to the Bush administration. I want to fill the void left by James D. Guckert and become the White House Hooker.

529 Comments »

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  4. Adam - I mean Alex - you’re way behind the 8-ball if you’re only now thinking of becoming a White House Hooker. We’ve got an entire network devoted, 24 hours a day, to whoring and pimping, so don’t even think you’re going to take us on, bitch.

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  5. What a country! Whether pitching beach balls in front of the press corp set, or pinching peach balls from behind on the internet, Gannon/Guckert is an American success story. It’s uncanny to watch him extend his reach around the pipeline to power! Go Jeff/James!

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  7. A (*spit*) *state* school? I mean *really*. How *gauche*. But what else could one *do* with such a degree, really? It’s gardner, chauffer, or prostitute, I suppose… So who can blame him?

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  8. Gannon’s got a bright future. Like Ollie North. And Elliot Abrams and his thugs. Like Gonzales.
    Republicans always commit treason or war crimes and flow upward. I detected the first flaw in the Constitution back in ‘74 as a teenager. Why did the DISGRACED POLITICAL PARTY RETAIN POWER? and WHY WAS IT (FORD) ALLOWED TO PARDON THE OFFENDER (NIXON)???
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    Comment by The AntiKeller — 2/27/2005 @ 10:57 am

  9. Adam, your are indeed a hooker for the White House.

    I would think that lots of people, primarily those who have read your articles, would agree.

    Comment by SGT Ryker — 2/27/2005 @ 1:21 pm

  10. Mr. Nagourny, Pardon me if I’m not amused, sir. But,I find this Gannon/Guckert nonsense disgusting. No one wants to address the propaganda that the media spews from the White House. Where is that oh-so-comical, so quick to smirk, media when it comes to addressing the lies that have killed so many in Iraq? Where is the media to ask questions about the stories coming from Afghanistan vs the reality seen on the ground in Afghanistan by Doctors Without Borders, and similar NGO’s? So, forgive me sir if I find the Gannon/Guckert hypocrisies and the sheer duplicity that allows for approval of “rump ranger for hire” activities by administration hacks nauseating. I bear you no disrespect personally sir, but in aligning yourself to elements of the so-called mainstream media that have disregarded the loss of life both here and abroad by a slavish tolerance for, and complete willingness to ‘look the other way’ at the sheer incompetance and the utterly debauched corruption of the Bush Administration, you have forfieted much respect that you might otherwise have.
    Good day to you sir, and have a good laugh at Gannon/Guckert while madmen plot more war in Iran or perhaps Syria. Hopefully you won’t lose any friends of family to Bush’s bizarre weltanshauung while chuckling about “reach-arounds.”

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  11. I have it on good authority that NBC “Today” show co-anchor “Matt” Lauer has, in fact, a cranium substantially smaller than human norms. In order to avoid appearing as some form of carny freak on television, he employs industrial quantities of a theatrical head putty in order to build up the exterior of his head to more normal dimensions. Can you confirm or deny???

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  12. Alright then, Adam. Where’s the beef?

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  13. You ARE a fucking cheap 2¢ ho for the Nazi Party, Adam.

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  14. But it’s not because he’s gay. It’s because of the Hypocrisy, don’t ya know.

    Comment by Papertiger — 2/27/2005 @ 11:02 pm

  15. But what else could one *do* with such a degree, really? It’s gardner, chauffer, or prostitute, I suppose…

    Well, one can also teach gym at a public school, as JimJeff did. I’m sure the parents at the school(s) where he taught are delighted that a gay whore was teaching their kids gym classes.

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  17. Maybe it’s time for a crew of nearly-naked men in leather and S&M bondage getup to show up at the White House to try to get a press pass. They will need camera crews behind them, and should make a farce of the whole thing. “Excuuuse, me, but I can’t tell from this FORM you gave me whether I’ll be able to bring my whip into the WH Briefing room? What about it…are whips okay? Do you think the president will ask me a question? I’ve got a really easy one…when he dreams of screwing Jesus, is he thinking about leaving ‘no marks, just impressions’?

    Any ‘journalists’ with a sense of humor and a camera crew at the ready should try this…if we can’t break this Gannon affair into the senses of the ‘values’ crowd, maybe a funny stunt would work?

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