The Private Diary of Adam Nagourney


Can’t Wait!

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:03 pm

Got stuck writing one of those ‘he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, probably bad for Kerry” pieces today. This time I actually did it blinfolded! The Daily News gets all the fun stuff. Check it…….

“We want people to think ‘terrorism’ for the last four days,” said a Bush-Cheney campaign official. “And anything that raises the issue in people’s minds is good for us.”

A senior GOP strategist added, “anything that makes people nervous about their personal safety helps Bush.”

He called it “a little gift,” saying it helps the President but doesn’t guarantee his reelection.

Color me jealous! I wish I had the “man’s man” cred to write the fun stuff! Can’t wait ’til Kerry wins and I can start bashing his cabinet choices and finally feel like a real reporter! You know, the kind that questions those in power! The best part is how psyched the toughies will be with me!
Jodsie, pul -leez do not say a word about me being in your bridal party! Fred Barnes said that if I can come up with 3 reasons why Kerry should be impeached before his inauguration I can go to his New Years Hooter’s Bash in Alexandria (lot of straight acts!)

Ps. Been having wierd dreams lately- Rutey- you were in one! In my dreams I keep getting interviewed about this blog. Something goes wrong with the wordpress software and everybody in the world can read my posts. All the people on the plane snicker behind my back, people at work act like jerks (as usual) but now with an air of superiority. To make it up to me Rutey writes a whole piece about blogs and mentions mine in a way I can’t understand. I get really excited because people are finally writing about me and not me having to write about them! Then the CJR interviews me! They say they read my blog, I act coy because it’s private (and this is the best way to come off in an interview), then I talk about how everybody is mean to me and then I get famous because of it! Then Charlie Rose calls me up (not me calling him!) and says we should have you on election eve!

More spicy shrimp before bed for me!


For Fuck’s sake, Carl stop calling me!

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:36 pm

Carl Rove keeps calling me, makes donkey noises and then hangs up. Has he lost his mind? For chrissakes I’m breaking my back making Florida sound like it’s close and he won’t stop prank calling me. God I miss the good ole’ days @ USA Today :( . I’m sick of having to write over 2000 words when a graph would do it.



Filed under: — Adam @ 12:02 pm

First off, my hands are trembling while I write this. I can barely type and my dragon speak program is down! Damn you James Wolcott damn damn damn 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.

Ok first things first, I will try to write this but tears keep filling my eyes and I can’t see the screen, oh god, I feel just like I did in Junior high when I got picked on by the all Jocks. And by all the nerds, and the shop kids and the AP students. and the teachers. and the cleaning staff. Thank god I met Dan Okrent at sleepover camp.

Ok. James Wolcott. First how dare he make light of Howard Fineman’s reportorial skills. Nobody has more guts than Fineman! Maybe he forgets when Fineman said that Chris Matthews was a loud mouth and was banned from Hardball for MONTHS! He has had to do Scarborough since then and only now has he been able to matthews show and on the sunday version. That is called journalistic integrity. Journalistic integrity meet James Wolcott.

Second. James asks how can I say I have more charisma than John Kerry, blah blah blah. Sounds like Jamesy Wamesy is jealous cause I have been on Charlie’s show. Believe me it is not easy to go on a show which probably reaches millions of people JAmes! However, Charlie says I do GREAT! You have to say pithy things like I do or you don’t get invited back on.

People do not walk away from me at parties! I walk away from them! GoDAMMMITTT!

Geuss waht jame WOlcott! I can’t wait to see what the public editor of the New York Times writes about this week. Hope your address isn’t available!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you don’t live in a Jewish Temple !!!!!!!! Or are you too busy defacing churches to deface a temple????

Jodi call me I am so fuckining pissed and i’m drinking cooking sherry.


Don’t Mess with Cheeks

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:49 pm

Isn’t it great that I have a handler like Danny “Cheeks” Okrent? Every time I get a mean email I just make a quick call to Okie and he’ll take care of it. The messages I got from that Schwenk guy in S.F. made me tear up, but Danny boy really showed him! He outed the mean man and now that bay area punk is getting threats left and right. It’s kinda like the mob at the Times: we protect our sources and whack our subscribers when they get out of line. I hope this shows the world not to mess with THE Ad Nags.


Melon War

Filed under: — Jodi @ 11:51 pm

On the campaign trail with the Mr. Red Sox himselfHe was playing the mans man on his hunting trip in Ohio with a BORROWED shotgun. What a phony! I mean, how can anybody take this guy seriously if he doesn’t have a 12 gauge of his own? Jethro isn’t gonna buy it.

Adam, I so know how you feel about Candy. Why is she waging war on the melon?


Loose Lips Kerry!

Filed under: — Adam @ 3:52 pm

God I hate this plane! If I have to see Candy Crowley stuff one more piece of melon in her face I am going to explode! I honestly can’t wait for this election to be over and everyone knows it!

Just popped a couple of klonopins. My head is reeling from “listening to conservative talk shows” and “talking to some voters and some democrats“. Finished the piece by saying at least kerry didn’t flip flop. Snap! I go girl!

Anyhoo, I’ve been a ha-uge Mary Cheney fan since the Mr. Leather Coors tour.

God Dammit! I am drunk!- I think.

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:01 am

still pissed about that piece of shit I had to file for yesterday. First thing I emailed was 40 words an’ ole fart head made me submit 1500 words. WTF?! “I like Bush and I like Kerry. Kerry was boring and now he’s not but not so much that people like him more than Bush, according to Mr. Bush’s aides. Bush is doing better than Kerry in every way except in anything measurable.” Nobody reads me anymore anyways. God I hate that fuckin plane! I snuck a tiny shnaps bottle on and bene having it with my tea- I’m still flying! Woopee!

Guess who is a dick-Jay “i think I’m hot shit"Wagner. NEWSFLASH - I am the chief political correspondent! If I want to cherry pick interviews to provide balance- then you be George motherfucking Washington and chop down a tree. Iowa is my Biaaaatcchh! I got news for you not chief political correspondent , if this…

In an election in which Mr. Bush is benefiting from strikingly more intense support from his followers, that could prove to be something of a breakthrough for Mr. Kerry if it helps him solidify and energize his Democratic base.

supposedly “doesn’t make any sense", why are you reading it in the New York Times, Biaaatchhh!

Oh Jody, call me I’m so wasted. Rooty-tooty - like how you let the pubs make a charge and make those stiffys do a comeback! Why’d you bury it!?



MoDo got nothin’ on JoWi

Filed under: — Adam @ 3:28 pm

What up hags!

Was getting a fennel/ smoked salmon wrap at the Soviet Safeway today. The bitch at the counter asked me why I look so short on Charlie Rose. I reminded her I was sitting and she said “I know". Then she said “if Maureen Dowd looked like Jodi Wilgoren she’d be Jodi Wilgoren.”

What’s that supposed to mean?!


Everybody Loves Mehlman

Filed under: — Adam @ 7:15 pm

My latest article was a breeze to write. All I had to do was gather 10 largely irrelevant quotes, string them together with some conventional wisdom and I was done in time to watch a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. I quoted 7 Republicans to 3 Democrats in order to ensure that I cannot be accused of bias by any of my friends in Washington. I even cited Bush Campaign Manager Ken Mehlman a few times despite the fact that all he did was launch extraneous attacks on Kerry. Man, that guy can spin.

Speaking of spinning, I am feeling manic on whether or not to join in post debate spin. I wonder if I can put my integrity and promise on hold for just one extraordinary night.


Headache! Dan the MAN!

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:12 pm

Dan you’re sweet, but the salt air may have gotten to you. You were supposed to put that guy’s name on chat boards and craigslist!

Now they’ll email me and call me again, hello! Email and phones and being chief political corr are such double swords.

You’re supposed to be an ombudsman- not a dumbbudsman! :) Ha! I’m kidding, I do have a headache though, I hooked up with Brit Hume (who knew?) in dupont last night and I tried poppers for the first time - I feel sick. WTF ?- seriously. I thought you’d just give those names to the WT! On the upside I’ll prob get a shout out on Kurtzy’s show. Onward and upward!

I am the Hero

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:28 am

Man, I have been getting major props for my reporting lately. First I am praised for choosing to avoid the spin room and now Mark Halperin is hailing me as the hero of journalism. I danced around calling Bush a liar in my latest article but resisted so I wouldn’t see a decrease in Christmas cards. Plus, “pushes limit on the facts” makes it sound like he’s working hard.

I expect to see a spike in party invites as a result of my ever-increasing credibility. Speaking of party invitations, I reorganized my collection from being indexed by political affiliation to favorite hobby.

Watched Caddyshack I and II tonight. Why doesn’t Chevy Chase make movies anymore?


Kerry can’t out-pray Bush

Filed under: — Jodi @ 9:13 pm

B.K. and I produced a masterpiece of an article today. Forget Iraq and the economy, the real issue is what John Kerry does with his hands. The bottom line is that the Senator really sucks at praying. That’s why George W. Bush rocks. I mean he freakin put God back in the White House. Now THAT is some powerful prayer.

Media Matters didn’t like my poll comparisons but it was effective in proving my point. Numbers confuse me anyways, that’s what B.K. is for.

It’s a shame that Judy Miller seems to be destined for the slammer. Oh well, one less person to stomp in my skyrocketing career.


Tipton Sucks

Filed under: — Jodi @ 9:01 pm

How did I get stuck following this funny man around? John Kerry joked about cell reception in Iowa but I didn’t find it so friggin hilarious. Having Rove and Scotty on speed dial doesn’t do much if you can’t get a signal bar!

Watched the debate last night but quickly got depressed that I wasn’t going to be in spin alley. Downed a few appletinis to ease the pain.

Feeling frisky tonight… I wonder if that viagra for women patch works.

I :) Email

Filed under: — Adam @ 9:17 am

Wrote my post debate story last night. Fortunately, I went to the one in 2000, so I didn’t have to watch it or even stop by the spin room:

TO: BC’04 Surrogates
FROM: BC’04 Communication
RE: Talking Points
We will be sending more talking points later this evening, but the decisive line by Vice President Cheney during the debate was the following:

“So they, in effect, decided they would cast an anti-war vote, and they voted against the troops. Now, if they couldn’t stand up to the pressures that Howard Dean represented, how can we expect them to standup to Al Qaeda?”

I :) email.



Filed under: — Adam @ 2:36 pm

Good news- I won’t be taking grief over today’s poll. let that sucker stevenson explain why we keep using samples like this:
who did you vote for in 2000? Gore: 29%; Bush: 35%;
when I tried to sell those bastards at air america the “people lie to the pollsters on that question only” bit I couldn’t use my phone for thirty six hours! Never mind what they did to my email box.

Bad News; Keller could tell I had been crying when I found out I wasn’t covering this week’s poll.


Just checkin’ in

Filed under: — Jodi @ 4:27 pm

LOL @ Alessandra! That’s what you get for stealing my French mime joke, bitch. Haha! Political beat’s a bit harder than critiquing the new tv season, isn’t it? Haha!

Oh, wait… WTF?!? 1 million… 240 million… 400 acres… 2000 acres… Numbers are hard!! Oh well. Whatever.

So Campbell totally blew me off after the debate. Bitch. She thinks she’s all that. Whatever. So I hung out in Spin Alley instead. Scotty was busy so I ended up making google eyes with Joey L. I got lots of juicy quotes, too. Check it. And I got to add him to my speed-dial.

Anyway Adam - I’m just glad Kerry won the debate (ssh! Don’t tell anyone!), otherwise I’d be totally bored for the next 5 weeks. Well I’ve got to run - phone is ringing and caller ID says it’s Scotty. Bye!


Depressed/ Not Depressed

Filed under: — Adam @ 5:06 pm

Okrent is a jerk.

Excuse me- I ran I raq I made a mistake ack ack. That rhymes! At least I didn’t say that there’d been “some reductions in US casualties” since I didn’t go to the Debate. Ha! Whatever, I feel manic.

Carl Rove said I was “too cool". Couldn’t tell if he was saying that as a compliment or not. He was sort of half joking but not facetious (sp? whatever, I raq I ran just fix it Okrent :) )He seemed a bit mean when he said it- I can’t tell, really. It is possible he was saying it half -joking in a good way, you know like, “you’re not the coolest- i know that and you know that, but because of that you are, in reality, sort of cool.” Does that make sense? I guess he may have been saying it in sort of a friendly way. anyway, I did that article on how the campaign is going to cover domestic issues now ( stole it form the post) and I quoted 9 republicans to 3 dems so I think there’s no problem. (see I don’t need no stinkin’ spin room- watched the three amigos last night, god chevy chase makes me laugh.)

Thank god Kerry won the debate. All the republicans I spoke to said that the race was over if Kerry didn’t win this thing. (I think I sort of knew that already- how do you make up 4 points in republican weighted polls in only four weeks? Unless of course you live in Spain and a terrorist attack happens and you blame it on your political enemies? - Jodi don’t you dare think about using that! Hag!). Now, we got a race. I now officially wave the checkered flag!


The Debate: I won

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:50 pm

What up gang! Stevenson had the byline last night and guess who had to be learned!

Didn’t see the debate but saw the cnn online poll. I’m secretly glad Kerry won but it seems a bit unfair to Bush that Kerry is taller. (I must be reading your stuff too much J! :) Besides, didn’t Kerry switch his position? I mean, first he wants to be Senator for twenty years and then he wants to be President. Which is it? (this may be in my next piece guys so it’s proprietary).

Contemplating a tighter haircut. More on that later.

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