The Private Diary of Adam Nagourney

6/11/2006

Mea Gulpa

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:25 am

What up nag hags! Mea Gulpa and Mea Drunka! Yo just left the convention thing with all the celebs!

Screwed up tonight! Big time! Wrote this….

If there is an emerging consensus among much of the Democratic Party establishment, it is that blogs are an important, potentially crucial emerging power in American politics, as reflected by the turnout of Democratic leaders here this weekend. What is less clear is how mainstream politicians like Mr. Warner — or the Senate minority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, who was scheduled to address them Saturday night — will grapple with an audience that has defined itself in part by its dissatisfaction with mainstream politicians.

….I left too early, whoop dee doo? So they clapped alot for both of them… I was down two hundred bucks because I thought the dealer said I had fifteen not sixteen and the next card was a ten! I was like, I would not have asked for another card if I knew I had sixteen and whatever! ;(

So then somebody walks up to me wearing carrying a pool cue and blows his cigarette beard smoke on me and says “what non- mainstream candidate has any blogger supported?” I’m like what are you talking about? HE says he’s in a pool tournament and the guy he was playing with said some old lady told him that I said bloggers didn’t like mainstream candidates and HOLY SHIT! I was like MODO that bitch! She must have stolen my wifi or something and I just about took a shit!

I am pissed off cuz before she was all like I like Marc Werner and I want to cover him and I was like I like Marc Werner, he’s the tallest guy ever to want to joke around with me and I was covering him first. And she’s like he told me about how good blogs were and I said, well, he told me to say he told me…

“Some consultants are still stuck in a 2004 mindset — they still think, ‘Is this just a new way to raise some money over the Internet?’ This community absolutely resents that. They absolutely see themselves as ideas, energy, and they want to be part of the debate.”

And I did!

So I told her you can have Vilsack and she’s like no! you have him! And I’m like he said that the DLC is a personality…

“It’s important for the focus to be on the policies and the politics, but not on the personalities,” he said. “Daily Kos banging away at the D.L.C. — we don’t need to do that.”

I’m like, huh? And he’s all like “what”. And I’m like “what do you mean the DLC is a personality?” and he goes:

“The blogs attack our DLC personality and say we are too tainted by industry power and money, which should be off limits because it is our personality to be tainted by industry power and money. The focus of the debate should be on our policies which are a product of taint by industry power and money not the fact that the we are tainted in such a way. It is much easier for us to defend our policies if we can obfuscate the nature of our incentives to develop such policies.”

And I had to be like- uh, that’s too long, cuz you’ll have too many lines in my thingy in the paper- so I’m going to cut that last part.

ANywoolsy, the whole thing got me so pissed that I took out another 400 hundred dollars and lost it at a crap table. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PLAY THAT GAME! Then I drank that bottle of Champagne I stole from the that big tower party yesterday and I am WASTED!

6/10/2006

WTF

Filed under: — Adam @ 3:59 am

Went to the daily kos convention- they all think they are so cool- they are like “I am so cool” and I was like oh, well if you are such a rebel why do you want to do politics? And they were like what ever and I saw Modo and she was all like what is going on here I don’t get it and I was like how come I ddin’t get on a panel- I blogs!

Baisy brought some x and I was supposed to go to warner’s thing and ended up on a southwest flight to cancun- WHATEVER!

I think everyone was supposed to be in tie dye and then they knew I was coming so they all put on button down shirts and aged. So I ened up sending Bill the piece I wrote for Iowa 08 during Iowa 04 and now when Iowa happens I’m going to have to write a new thing. It’s like how come you all say you want to take over politics but politics are bad- hypocites-you all sold out by getting influence- hello newsflash KOS you cannot try and influence politics if you don’t like what is happening in politics and then claim you are just trying to have a voice becaus.. I am so wasted I shopudl have doubled down on the ten I had but anna my dealer had a 16 I was all like ok I’m going to win here!

Everybody was like this is wierd why are these people so mean to us and I was like these people only exist because we are talking abou them- if we didn’t exist they wouldn’t exist because they are mad at us and oh shit how am I going to wrtie this piece Jodsie- I am drunk!
more larter!

4/1/2006

It’s April fools- duh!

Filed under: — Adam @ 8:01 pm

what up hags!
More proof that liberals have no sense of humor:( That ullltra liberal, in your face, Americablog guy fell for my April fools joke. I mean hello? I worte that piece almost 18 months ago. The fucked up thing is I handed it in to the Times and they fell for it too. Eww. I hope I don’t get in trouble like Judy.

The funny thing is, this:

Bloggers, for all the benefits they might bring to both parties, have proved to be a complicating political influence for Democrats. They have tugged the party consistently to the left, particularly on issues like the war, and have been openly critical of such moderate Democrats as Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut.

Was the only thing I was serious about.

I mean, a. leftists are against the Iraq war. b. when you have two people running in a primary is it not more complicated than having only one person running? Answer, it is less complicated. NOT. It is mathematically proven that it is twice as complicated. TAKE A MATH COURSE, AMERICASBLOG! d. How can Lieberman be considered “conservative” like Americasblog says when Joe Lieberman is, in FACT, Jewish? e. Right wing blogs don’t complicate things for Republicans- they help Republicans- because they are not liberal. If Right blogs were liberal, then, of course they would complicate things for Republicans because Republicans are moderate and for the war! f. who the frig is Ben Domech?- like I care, queenbiaaatch!

What AMERICASBLOG does not get is that I am liberal. But I HELP the Democrats by not writing liberal things, that way they are not complicated. I tell them what they are doing wrong, I have no agenda about them, I am just making sure I do well, which is less complicated for Democrats. If you cared more about yourself you would not right liberal stuff and get a real job. GET IT! Have you been on Charlie Rose? What? Oh, you said no. Cause I have! What is more interesting to Charlie Rose? Republican bloggers are racist and plagerize or things are complicated? I love howbloggers like to talk about nuance and then when I write about nuance they get all pissy. AND IT WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!

That is why when I see blogs…. I hit DELETE!

p.s. I saw that greek guy Atrios on the West Wing—-uh, not cool at all, Total GEEK! HA HA! :)

3/9/2006

Assholes!

Filed under: — Adam @ 11:17 am

Hey Hags. :(

I’m pissed. I know I haven’t been keeping up with my personal journal here. Well, it’s because I’ve been working on a huge piece on the blogosphere and how stupid blogs are and how dumb blogs are and how they think they can do stuff about elections even though they don’t work at the GD Ny Times- Ha . Anywaysy, I’ve been holding off writing here for nearly a year as I worked on this thing I’m writing- sort of like a spy- didn’t want to tip off any of the blogosphere blogpeople that i was working on this piece or otherwise- huh. I was just going to say if I tipped them off that I was writing about blogs then they wouldn’t talk to me…. but I didn’t talk to any of them anyways. HELLO? I need some coffee!

Anyhoos, the point is now some ass has leaked (I didn’t even realise how gross what I just wrote was when I was writing it. I totally swear!) that I am writing the piece that slammos the blogs that I bragged about to Tim Russert when I saw him at Starbucks. (did I blog about that? He is sooo tall) He didn’t promise me a guestie, but I did have the chance to tell him I wasn’t at USAtoday anymore!

I still bet this gets me on Rose quicker than the piece I was going to rerun on Kerry.

how’s mariage, Mrs. HowsitGoren (hah hah- is that funny or are you pissed?)?

7/13/2005

Karl Rove

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:16 pm

What is the deal with the media in Washington? It is painfully clear that Karl Rove did NOT say specifically that Mrs. Wilson was a CIA operative. He said “Wilson’s Wife” in the conversation with Matt. Last time I checked “Wilson’s Wife” does not equal “Valerie Plame".

Heck, Karl and I go way back. In all of my interviews with him, he’s only gossiped about classified information like four times. Mr. Rove even told me that the covert ops name that sent Mr. Wilson began with the letter “v” and ended with letter “e". See, he didn’t literally say her name and thus it was NOT leaked.

I miss you Karl. Call. Please.

6/5/2005

I Found Him! Mehlman on MTP

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:24 am

There he is.

5/31/2005

Damn Blogger

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:10 pm

When are you going to realize that I was right, Atrios.blogspot.com? The handover of power brought sovereignty to Iraq. Sovereignty means some reduction of US casualties. Why would causalities rise when people are given their country back? You probably think that it’ll take the withdrawal of the United States Army to achieve that. Stupid lib.

Congress is in recess but that doesn’t mean the Nag is taking a day off from chasing down Kenneth Mehlman… (more on that l8er ;) )

4/4/2005

Payback’s a bitch

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:42 am

But I did it without even having to do any research. Finally the Pope died and I could do a dems in trouble- schiavo tie in, w/ a religious extremism is ok with the us public double lindy. Check it- new Pope might be republican

Got through this whole piece without even mentioning the old Pope’s position against the Iraq war and how that didn’t mean diddly and I’m not even wearing underwear.

I rock biaaatches!

3/23/2005

Phew!

Filed under: — Adam @ 2:10 am

Brooksy gave me the green light to go after the Christians. Karl says Delay can’t keep it in his pants - apparently Delay is in some ethics situation or something (where have I been? :) ) and needed a cause - fast.

Anyhoo, Brooksy said that Karl said that I had a pass and I was like - I don’t have to go and he was like - no, I mean to say that the big guys are fighting, and I was like they’re fighting? and he was like just write it. WHATEVER! I can’t believe how fat Brooksy’s gotten. He and Friedman could be tag team sumos, of course then they’d have to travel to Japan and Friedman would be sending out his stupid travel log emails. I’m in Japan and a funny thing happened when I ordered my sushi, blah blah blah

I mean, what are they feeding them in the op-ed cafeteria that makes them so fat- Bill Safire’s guilt? Jesus- I’m on fire tonight! growwwl!

2/27/2005

I’ve been Schmitzed

Filed under: — Adam @ 7:49 pm

Doug Schmitz USED :( to be my favorite columnist at the conservative supersite MichNews.com:

Recall the hissy fit the media leftists threw about Fox News White House Correspondent Carl Cameron when he was traveling with the Kerry campaign: Cameron, who’s one of the best White House correspondents in Washington, referred to John Kerry as a “metrosexual” in a private e-mail about Kerry’s over-the-top grooming habits. But it was inadvertently posted on Foxnews.com and, subsequently, the pro-Kerry media pounced.

But these same leftist reporters never said a word when New York Times reporter and Bush-hater Adam Nagourney posted, in his “personal diary” on his Web site, false allegations about Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman.

Bush-hater?! How could you Doug? I nailed John Kerry every chance I got and this is my thanks! What was wrong with what I said about Kenneth? He’s totally straight and by straight I mean totally gay.

You used to be my first stop during my daily read of the MichNews.com. You used to be there when I needed some rock solid conservative commentary. I’ll still visit but I am done with being Schmitzed. From now on it’s only Irwin N. Graulich on MichNews for Adam Nagourney.

2/23/2005

I Want to be a White House Hooker

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:38 pm

Now what alias should I use?? I’m thinking of possibly going with Alex Hagourney because Alex is SO much easier to say than Adam.

In studying GannonGuckert I found that the logical next step to breaking through White House security is to grab several male escort domains to promote my own hooker services. I am thinking something along the lines of www.msmescortsm4m.com. More on that later…

The final step in the JeffJames GannonGuckert White House Hooker transformation process is to boost your journalistic credibility by having a degree in Physical Education from a state school in Pennsylvania. This will ensure I am in top shape for my “clients.”

Maybe if I can complete the above I too could receive unprecedented access to the Bush administration. I want to fill the void left by James D. Guckert and become the White House Hooker.

1/22/2005

2012 & 2016

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:52 am

Two nights ago I finished my 2008 horserace 1000 worder and was half way into a bottle of chardonay. My psoriasis was acting up and the phone hadn’t rung in three days - you’re all bitches- I was going to do a Will & Grace marathon until i found out my tivo erased them all to record the Grahm Norton eps I missed! Anyhoo, I was grooving so I wrote up my 2012 & 2016 pieces too, just in case I die.

God I hope they are still called Democrats and Republicans- though I guess i could just use my find and replace. But wait, not if i was dead.

1/10/2005

Payola, not Me-yola

Filed under: — Adam @ 5:29 pm

I want to be the first to say that I have received no taxpayer money to tilt my coverage in favor of the President. There is a big difference in getting taxpayer money to push some ideology or program for the administration and having the integrity to do the same because you know it will help your career and endear yourself to people who bully you.

It is disgusting to me that Armstrong Williams has made so much more money than me. If you want be filthy rich you don’t go into journalism (with the exception of everybody who works in the news business). You go into journalism to feel important, to have that rush when you enter a room and know that you have the power to shape reality in a way that will ultimately benefit yourself.

1/2/2005

Boy did I lay a stinker!

Filed under: — Adam @ 5:23 pm

Did a re-write of a piece I read in the post a week or two a go and the la times. (thank god it is three hours behind us LOL). DK said I shouldn’t bother include the media presentation of the campaigns in the piece- said it was too meta- i said it no meta to me anyways. LOL

It sucks having to write when no one cares about what you write. I can’t wait till the dems pick a DNC head - Karl hasn’t called since the election, he won’t even return. :( I’ve had a rash and been working on my screenplay. Bored.

12/24/2004

Danny U R 2 Sweet

Filed under: — Adam @ 5:40 pm

You guys know I’ve been in the dumps lately (just wrote my first piece in weeks- it was exhausting, had to crib it from the LA Times and ten minutes I heard Rush when I was driving to the soviet safeway).

I’ve had the blues, don’t know if it’s because I feel guilty about trying to protect my career over doing “good journalism” this past election or if it’s because of my sad. You guys know I’ve got seasonal affective disorder, right? Well, I found out that my stupid cleaning lady switched out the bulbs in my lightbox! I’ve been staring at flourescents for three weeks! WTF! No wonder nobody wants to pay social security taxes for these people! Besides who can live on nine grand a year?

Anywho, someonbe just sent me this!
I just want to say it is so cool of Danny to stick up for me and mention my name. (OT I have been named in 22 stories about the media in 2004, I’m piecing together an online scrapbook of al the times my name got into the papers- in 2003 it was only twice and those were just legal notices) He totally understands that people don’t go into journalism to be picked on and scrutinized. They go into to journalism to pick on and scrutinize. If you don’t like what I write tough nuts. The public is not my boss and it’s not Danny’s either. Hello!?! His job is to edit the public- that is his title PUBLIC EDITOR!

Anyhoo, thanks Danny and as far as this…….

“It was amazing to me that Adam [Nagourney, the Times’ national political reporter] and his colleagues can still keep their eyes on the ball(s).

Don’t worry bout that Honey! ROTFL :)

12/1/2004

Torn!

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:17 am

What up, y’all. Still on vay-kay, but found a cabana man with wireless! Pissed that Charlie didn’t call me to be on his show yesterday! Why couldn’t I have been the one Karl called to out that spy bitch! Now Judy gets to go to jail and look like a real journalist. Fuck!

Lil’ Richie Co-co’s from the Post was on. What Bullshit! Why couldn’t Charlie have on two people from the times. Judy, cause she is going to jail and me cause I have to protect law breakers all the time. The only reason richie was on was because he’s from the Post and Charlie didn’t want two people on from the same paper- THAT IS A STUPID RULE! Richie was agnostic about the “leak” being criminal- i thought that was cool. It’s like, hello, we’re journalists, if people don’t trust us to protect them when they use us to committ treasonous crimes to further their political agenda it will have a chilling effect! If that happens how will we be able to go to parties? Hellooo? This is America, I don’t think parties should be illegal!

Seriously, think about it. What if this had been about the pentagon papers?

The only difference is that the pentagon papers was an obvious attempt to give information about illegal war acts to the american public at great personal peril and the passing of information that Valerie Plame was a covert CIA agent was an obvious criminal act to benefit the most powerful in the Bush administration and keep the public from knowing that they lied about an important reason why they took the country to war.

See? War. War. Same. Same.

(someone please forward this to Charlie but don’t tell him i told you to forward this to him. It is not still too late to have me on to talk about this. )

11/20/2004

Mehl and Man-date

Filed under: — Adam @ 11:52 am

Ken Mehlman is totally straight, and by straight I mean freakishly gay. During my interview he asked me if the curtains matched the drapes. I told him I let someone else take care of that because of my hectic travel schedule. He winked and wanted to know if I was busy later. Then it got weird because, see, my drapes and curtains are all the way back in New York so how could we fix them?

Kenneth told me that I should stop wearing my signature yellow tie with olive suit and go for something more conservative. He also mentioned that my glasses were “odd but cute” and that he could deal with them.

It looks like the Nag has secured intimate access with the next RNC Chairman. I’m talking penetrating insights for the next four years!

11/15/2004

Primetime Nags

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:03 pm

I was leveraging my star power tonight on C-SPAN. Marvin Kalb was such a douche, he hardly gave the Nag any face time! I really was top dog on that panel. Who else could pull off an olive suit and yellow tie?!

The discussion became quite boring so I thought it’d be fun to see how many times Jeff Greenfield said 9/11. Needless to say I lost count.

Now it’s time to saddle up with my 2002 party invitation archive and the “Secret Life of… Pies” on the Food network. :)

11/9/2004

Mea Culpa

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:03 pm

I know many people come here to mock me. I know I have in some way encouraged it by posting goofy thoughts here and sometimes being flip. I know some of you think this site is a joke and some of you have commented that this site doesn’t even sound like me.

Well I am making a little departure today. No joking. No joshing. No Nag Hags. I have spent some time examining how I covered this past election and have decided to write the below letter to my readers. The Times has refused to publish it so here it is:

To: the Reading Public

From Adam Nagourney, New York Times Chief Political Correspondent

Re: Mea Culpa

I have reflected upon my work as the chief political correspondent for the New York Times in covering this past election cycle and I feel it is necessary for me to acknowledge my mistakes and, frankly , to apologize.

I am not apologizing to those who have been so critical of me on the internet, through emails or on radio. That criticism was often too incisive, too passionate and too urgent. I won’t justify such criticism with a response, I would rather leave that to our Public Editor at the New York Times whose job it is to protect the paper’s writers from the complaints of the public.

However, there are people who read the New York Times unquestioningly, there are people who read the Grey Lady without having the proper amount of suspicion. These people are our true constituency, these are our most supportive and as such the most proper of readers. Now that the election has ended, (except for voting irregularities in Ohio, which I plan on writing about just after mid-term elections), it is the proper time for me to acknowledge that my coverage of John Kerry was a bit askew.

I want to make it clear, I am no Judith Miller. I did not help this country into a war for no reason. I did not make things up. I did not push one of the biggest lies upon the US population in modern times. I did not have a ‘relationship” with my only source of this false information, who also happened to be a source for a group of people in the defense department with an agenda for war, and who also happened to be a con man and a spy for Iran, who was also hoping to rape his former home for personal gain and who had promised me, as in Judith, that I would be named queen of Iraq by now. No I, Adam, did not do such things.

With all that said, mea culpa. Over the course of the campaign, beginning with the primaries, because I knew deep down that I supported John Kerry, and through the Presidential election, because I knew his opponent wanted to demonize people like me, I found it necessary to write in such a way that would make people believe the opposite. This is called being objective, I will not apologize for that. However, there were times when I had to sort of exaggerate or report things “imprecisely” in order to be objective and though I will not apologize for that, I will acknowledge that some people might think I should.

However, there were occasions where I derided Kerry for such subjective things as a lack of charisma, even in comparison to myself. This was not objective. Obviously when comparing yourself to a candidate, you may give yourself “extra points”. Please remember though, John Kerry is tall. Studies show taller people generally have an easier time with things- they slide by. When I was at USA Today, before I was at the Times, I was the third shortest person on the political beat. The point is, however, that I was on the Charlie Rose Show at the time of said indiscretion, which, if any of you have ever been on (I’ve been on numerous times), you know, Charlie expects you to have such things to say.

So, again, mea culpa. Know that I am not happy about Bush being reelected either. Believe me, if you knew what I knew about this administration, you’d feel even worse- not to mention, if you knew what I knew about how genuinely impressive John Kerry can be… well anyways…

p.s. please email Charlie Rose and explain to him that I can still be a relevant guest.

11/8/2004

What is wrong with the democrats?

Filed under: — Adam @ 11:05 am

OK here’s a test. This is that lady govenor from New Mexico or Arizon. I interviewed her for my awesome post elction article. Read this:

How did a party that has been out of power in Washington, D.C., become tagged with the problems of Washington, D.C.? How did a party that is filled with people with values – and I am a person with values – get tagged as the party without values?'’

These are questions, right? WTF!!? When she asked me the first question I told her it was becasue Kerry had no charisma! She looked at me like I was from a different planet! She said it was rhetorical. Rhetorical? That’s the problem with Democrats, who talks like that when they’re not on Charlie Rose? Hello Democrats- time to stop being so intellectual. Time to stop not mentioning GOD.

Here is some free advice. Why do I succeed so much in my job? 1. I don’t let my “personal integrity” get in the way of furthering my career. 2. I don’t let my knowledge of reality get in the way of reporting as truth stuff I know to be false. 3. I kiss Charlie rose’s ass (he loves intellectuals who deride others for being too intellectual) 4. I write like those who have always bullied me. 5. I have Daniel Okrent put hits out on people who criticize me.

Democrats should do this stuff.; Why hasn’t Karl called me?!

11/2/2004

I’m so Excited….

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:10 am

That I just Can’t hide it…
I’m about to lose control ,
and I think I like it!
Woooo!

Just got back from a ‘thank god it is over” Karioki jam! I rocked! I totally faced Carl Cameron on a Doobie Brothers duel. stupid poll yesterday. A bit sloppy I must say- I’ve shit on piece of papers that took more effort!
Hello! Thank you folks I’ll be here all week.

This is going to be huge. Bill Frist left a message on my machine and said I might want to start talking about reasons why people didn’t actually vote for Kerry they voted against Bush and that’s not fair because Kerry is not legitimate because people don’t like him.

Bill Frist is really cool. He finished his message by saying “Thanks Adam- you are the tops!” I’m like say what? Jodi- I actually said that outloud to my answering machine, I was like “say wha?!” But then I was like “hey, maybe I am” Can you fucking Imagine! (oops potty mouth- crunch, crunch- that’s me eating soap.)

Anywierds, so many people are pissed that Kerry is going to win - I’m psyched!, we’re not guilty! Jodi- if you know of any parties tomorrow night call me- it seems like nobody is having a ny parties- that I’ve heard of anyways.

10/30/2004

Can’t Wait!

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:03 pm

Got stuck writing one of those ‘he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, probably bad for Kerry” pieces today. This time I actually did it blinfolded! The Daily News gets all the fun stuff. Check it…….

“We want people to think ‘terrorism’ for the last four days,” said a Bush-Cheney campaign official. “And anything that raises the issue in people’s minds is good for us.”

A senior GOP strategist added, “anything that makes people nervous about their personal safety helps Bush.”

He called it “a little gift,” saying it helps the President but doesn’t guarantee his reelection.

Color me jealous! I wish I had the “man’s man” cred to write the fun stuff! Can’t wait ’til Kerry wins and I can start bashing his cabinet choices and finally feel like a real reporter! You know, the kind that questions those in power! The best part is how psyched the toughies will be with me!
Jodsie, pul -leez do not say a word about me being in your bridal party! Fred Barnes said that if I can come up with 3 reasons why Kerry should be impeached before his inauguration I can go to his New Years Hooter’s Bash in Alexandria (lot of straight acts!)

Ps. Been having wierd dreams lately- Rutey- you were in one! In my dreams I keep getting interviewed about this blog. Something goes wrong with the wordpress software and everybody in the world can read my posts. All the people on the plane snicker behind my back, people at work act like jerks (as usual) but now with an air of superiority. To make it up to me Rutey writes a whole piece about blogs and mentions mine in a way I can’t understand. I get really excited because people are finally writing about me and not me having to write about them! Then the CJR interviews me! They say they read my blog, I act coy because it’s private (and this is the best way to come off in an interview), then I talk about how everybody is mean to me and then I get famous because of it! Then Charlie Rose calls me up (not me calling him!) and says we should have you on election eve!

More spicy shrimp before bed for me!

10/28/2004

For Fuck’s sake, Carl stop calling me!

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:36 pm

Carl Rove keeps calling me, makes donkey noises and then hangs up. Has he lost his mind? For chrissakes I’m breaking my back making Florida sound like it’s close and he won’t stop prank calling me. God I miss the good ole’ days @ USA Today :( . I’m sick of having to write over 2000 words when a graph would do it.

10/25/2004

EnRAGED!

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:02 pm

First off, my hands are trembling while I write this. I can barely type and my dragon speak program is down! Damn you James Wolcott damn damn damn 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.

Ok first things first, I will try to write this but tears keep filling my eyes and I can’t see the screen, oh god, I feel just like I did in Junior high when I got picked on by the all Jocks. And by all the nerds, and the shop kids and the AP students. and the teachers. and the cleaning staff. Thank god I met Dan Okrent at sleepover camp.

Ok. James Wolcott. First how dare he make light of Howard Fineman’s reportorial skills. Nobody has more guts than Fineman! Maybe he forgets when Fineman said that Chris Matthews was a loud mouth and was banned from Hardball for MONTHS! He has had to do Scarborough since then and only now has he been able to matthews show and on the sunday version. That is called journalistic integrity. Journalistic integrity meet James Wolcott.

Second. James asks how can I say I have more charisma than John Kerry, blah blah blah. Sounds like Jamesy Wamesy is jealous cause I have been on Charlie’s show. Believe me it is not easy to go on a show which probably reaches millions of people JAmes! However, Charlie says I do GREAT! You have to say pithy things like I do or you don’t get invited back on.

People do not walk away from me at parties! I walk away from them! GoDAMMMITTT!

Geuss waht jame WOlcott! I can’t wait to see what the public editor of the New York Times writes about this week. Hope your address isn’t available!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you don’t live in a Jewish Temple !!!!!!!! Or are you too busy defacing churches to deface a temple????

Jodi call me I am so fuckining pissed and i’m drinking cooking sherry.

10/24/2004

Don’t Mess with Cheeks

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:49 pm

Isn’t it great that I have a handler like Danny “Cheeks” Okrent? Every time I get a mean email I just make a quick call to Okie and he’ll take care of it. The messages I got from that Schwenk guy in S.F. made me tear up, but Danny boy really showed him! He outed the mean man and now that bay area punk is getting threats left and right. It’s kinda like the mob at the Times: we protect our sources and whack our subscribers when they get out of line. I hope this shows the world not to mess with THE Ad Nags.

10/21/2004

Melon War

Filed under: — Jodi @ 11:51 pm

On the campaign trail with the Mr. Red Sox himselfHe was playing the mans man on his hunting trip in Ohio with a BORROWED shotgun. What a phony! I mean, how can anybody take this guy seriously if he doesn’t have a 12 gauge of his own? Jethro isn’t gonna buy it.

Adam, I so know how you feel about Candy. Why is she waging war on the melon?

10/18/2004

Loose Lips Kerry!

Filed under: — Adam @ 3:52 pm

God I hate this plane! If I have to see Candy Crowley stuff one more piece of melon in her face I am going to explode! I honestly can’t wait for this election to be over and everyone knows it!

Just popped a couple of klonopins. My head is reeling from “listening to conservative talk shows” and “talking to some voters and some democrats“. Finished the piece by saying at least kerry didn’t flip flop. Snap! I go girl!

Anyhoo, I’ve been a ha-uge Mary Cheney fan since the Mr. Leather Coors tour.

God Dammit! I am drunk!- I think.

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:01 am

still pissed about that piece of shit I had to file for yesterday. First thing I emailed was 40 words an’ ole fart head made me submit 1500 words. WTF?! “I like Bush and I like Kerry. Kerry was boring and now he’s not but not so much that people like him more than Bush, according to Mr. Bush’s aides. Bush is doing better than Kerry in every way except in anything measurable.” Nobody reads me anymore anyways. God I hate that fuckin plane! I snuck a tiny shnaps bottle on and bene having it with my tea- I’m still flying! Woopee!

Guess who is a dick-Jay “i think I’m hot shit"Wagner. NEWSFLASH - I am the chief political correspondent! If I want to cherry pick interviews to provide balance- then you be George motherfucking Washington and chop down a tree. Iowa is my Biaaaatcchh! I got news for you not chief political correspondent , if this…

In an election in which Mr. Bush is benefiting from strikingly more intense support from his followers, that could prove to be something of a breakthrough for Mr. Kerry if it helps him solidify and energize his Democratic base.

supposedly “doesn’t make any sense", why are you reading it in the New York Times, Biaaatchhh!

Oh Jody, call me I’m so wasted. Rooty-tooty - like how you let the pubs make a charge and make those stiffys do a comeback! Why’d you bury it!?

Kidding!

10/15/2004

MoDo got nothin’ on JoWi

Filed under: — Adam @ 3:28 pm

What up hags!

Was getting a fennel/ smoked salmon wrap at the Soviet Safeway today. The bitch at the counter asked me why I look so short on Charlie Rose. I reminded her I was sitting and she said “I know". Then she said “if Maureen Dowd looked like Jodi Wilgoren she’d be Jodi Wilgoren.”

What’s that supposed to mean?!

10/13/2004

Everybody Loves Mehlman

Filed under: — Adam @ 7:15 pm

My latest article was a breeze to write. All I had to do was gather 10 largely irrelevant quotes, string them together with some conventional wisdom and I was done in time to watch a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. I quoted 7 Republicans to 3 Democrats in order to ensure that I cannot be accused of bias by any of my friends in Washington. I even cited Bush Campaign Manager Ken Mehlman a few times despite the fact that all he did was launch extraneous attacks on Kerry. Man, that guy can spin.

Speaking of spinning, I am feeling manic on whether or not to join in post debate spin. I wonder if I can put my integrity and promise on hold for just one extraordinary night.

10/10/2004

Headache! Dan the MAN!

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:12 pm

Dan you’re sweet, but the salt air may have gotten to you. You were supposed to put that guy’s name on chat boards and craigslist!

Now they’ll email me and call me again, hello! Email and phones and being chief political corr are such double swords.

You’re supposed to be an ombudsman- not a dumbbudsman! :) Ha! I’m kidding, I do have a headache though, I hooked up with Brit Hume (who knew?) in dupont last night and I tried poppers for the first time - I feel sick. WTF ?- seriously. I thought you’d just give those names to the WT! On the upside I’ll prob get a shout out on Kurtzy’s show. Onward and upward!

I am the Hero

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:28 am

Man, I have been getting major props for my reporting lately. First I am praised for choosing to avoid the spin room and now Mark Halperin is hailing me as the hero of journalism. I danced around calling Bush a liar in my latest article but resisted so I wouldn’t see a decrease in Christmas cards. Plus, “pushes limit on the facts” makes it sound like he’s working hard.

I expect to see a spike in party invites as a result of my ever-increasing credibility. Speaking of party invitations, I reorganized my collection from being indexed by political affiliation to favorite hobby.

Watched Caddyshack I and II tonight. Why doesn’t Chevy Chase make movies anymore?

10/7/2004

Kerry can’t out-pray Bush

Filed under: — Jodi @ 9:13 pm

B.K. and I produced a masterpiece of an article today. Forget Iraq and the economy, the real issue is what John Kerry does with his hands. The bottom line is that the Senator really sucks at praying. That’s why George W. Bush rocks. I mean he freakin put God back in the White House. Now THAT is some powerful prayer.

Media Matters didn’t like my poll comparisons but it was effective in proving my point. Numbers confuse me anyways, that’s what B.K. is for.

It’s a shame that Judy Miller seems to be destined for the slammer. Oh well, one less person to stomp in my skyrocketing career.

10/6/2004

Tipton Sucks

Filed under: — Jodi @ 9:01 pm

How did I get stuck following this funny man around? John Kerry joked about cell reception in Iowa but I didn’t find it so friggin hilarious. Having Rove and Scotty on speed dial doesn’t do much if you can’t get a signal bar!

Watched the debate last night but quickly got depressed that I wasn’t going to be in spin alley. Downed a few appletinis to ease the pain.

Feeling frisky tonight… I wonder if that viagra for women patch works.

I :) Email

Filed under: — Adam @ 9:17 am

Wrote my post debate story last night. Fortunately, I went to the one in 2000, so I didn’t have to watch it or even stop by the spin room:

TO: BC’04 Surrogates
FROM: BC’04 Communication
RE: Talking Points
We will be sending more talking points later this evening, but the decisive line by Vice President Cheney during the debate was the following:

“So they, in effect, decided they would cast an anti-war vote, and they voted against the troops. Now, if they couldn’t stand up to the pressures that Howard Dean represented, how can we expect them to standup to Al Qaeda?”

I :) email.

10/5/2004

PHEW

Filed under: — Adam @ 2:36 pm

Good news- I won’t be taking grief over today’s poll. let that sucker stevenson explain why we keep using samples like this:
who did you vote for in 2000? Gore: 29%; Bush: 35%;
when I tried to sell those bastards at air america the “people lie to the pollsters on that question only” bit I couldn’t use my phone for thirty six hours! Never mind what they did to my email box.

Bad News; Keller could tell I had been crying when I found out I wasn’t covering this week’s poll.

10/3/2004

Just checkin’ in

Filed under: — Jodi @ 4:27 pm

LOL @ Alessandra! That’s what you get for stealing my French mime joke, bitch. Haha! Political beat’s a bit harder than critiquing the new tv season, isn’t it? Haha!

Oh, wait… WTF?!? 1 million… 240 million… 400 acres… 2000 acres… Numbers are hard!! Oh well. Whatever.

So Campbell totally blew me off after the debate. Bitch. She thinks she’s all that. Whatever. So I hung out in Spin Alley instead. Scotty was busy so I ended up making google eyes with Joey L. I got lots of juicy quotes, too. Check it. And I got to add him to my speed-dial.

Anyway Adam - I’m just glad Kerry won the debate (ssh! Don’t tell anyone!), otherwise I’d be totally bored for the next 5 weeks. Well I’ve got to run - phone is ringing and caller ID says it’s Scotty. Bye!

10/2/2004

Depressed/ Not Depressed

Filed under: — Adam @ 5:06 pm

Okrent is a jerk.

Excuse me- I ran I raq I made a mistake ack ack. That rhymes! At least I didn’t say that there’d been “some reductions in US casualties” since I didn’t go to the Debate. Ha! Whatever, I feel manic.

Carl Rove said I was “too cool". Couldn’t tell if he was saying that as a compliment or not. He was sort of half joking but not facetious (sp? whatever, I raq I ran just fix it Okrent :) )He seemed a bit mean when he said it- I can’t tell, really. It is possible he was saying it half -joking in a good way, you know like, “you’re not the coolest- i know that and you know that, but because of that you are, in reality, sort of cool.” Does that make sense? I guess he may have been saying it in sort of a friendly way. anyway, I did that article on how the campaign is going to cover domestic issues now ( stole it form the post) and I quoted 9 republicans to 3 dems so I think there’s no problem. (see I don’t need no stinkin’ spin room- watched the three amigos last night, god chevy chase makes me laugh.)

Thank god Kerry won the debate. All the republicans I spoke to said that the race was over if Kerry didn’t win this thing. (I think I sort of knew that already- how do you make up 4 points in republican weighted polls in only four weeks? Unless of course you live in Spain and a terrorist attack happens and you blame it on your political enemies? - Jodi don’t you dare think about using that! Hag!). Now, we got a race. I now officially wave the checkered flag!

10/1/2004

The Debate: I won

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:50 pm

What up gang! Stevenson had the byline last night and guess who had to be learned!

Didn’t see the debate but saw the cnn online poll. I’m secretly glad Kerry won but it seems a bit unfair to Bush that Kerry is taller. (I must be reading your stuff too much J! :) Besides, didn’t Kerry switch his position? I mean, first he wants to be Senator for twenty years and then he wants to be President. Which is it? (this may be in my next piece guys so it’s proprietary).

Contemplating a tighter haircut. More on that later.

9/30/2004

adam, you suck!

Filed under: — Jodi @ 8:44 pm

wtf?!?! Since when did you get a work ethic? You are going to make us all look bad!

I might get to be on tv! The producer from Hardball was trolling the the press filing center earlier looking for “spinners” and I told him the orange joke. He laughed so hard that I thought he was gonna pee his pants, then he asked me if I had fifteen minutes to spare later on tonight.

Anyway, I ran into Campbell Brown in Spin Alley a few minutes ago. That bitch has owed me drinks since the New Hampshire primary, so we’re going to hook up later. She said to tell you “a BIG hello” - whatever that means.

Ok - I’ve got to run! They want everyone in their seats and no way am I passing up on my primo spot, even if it means sitting through thirty minutes of bullshit before the show starts.

Love ya! L8rs.

wassup my bitches?!?!? NYT is in the hizzouse!

Filed under: — Jodi @ 4:41 pm

hey adam you are totally missing out. i just got back to the hotel after checking in with the media peeps in miami - you are going to be sooo jealous! i got FRONT ROW!!! yea see, that’s what happens when you make GW laugh - he really did love my orange joke. =) i think i’m going to try and work that into my next column. it’s all about access, baby! take that, nedra!!! LOL! oh, and they gave us some sweet gift bags! i got a gift certificate to the jimmy choo store in NYC (yes!!!) and a bottle of Glo!

so have you finished writing your post-debate article yet? fucking ABC news - they are totally going to blow it for us. they already posted terry’s post-debate article! they need to be careful - those fucking bloggers might pick up on it and flood okie’s email box again. just FYI in case you were going to do another copy-and-paste job from the RNC TPMs. now it looks like we’ll have to put in some actual work, which is seriously going to cut into my drinking time tonight.

oh speaking of - did you get that memo about not expensing drinks anymore? what the hell?

p.s. this humidity is really killing my hair. how the hell am i supposed to make google eyes with scotty when i’m all a-frizz?!?

Ha Ha

Filed under: — Jodi @ 10:15 am

what up sister!

I’m in not so sunny florida, hanging with a real man. check itGuess I win today. sorry you got no news - told you you shoulda have borrowed my “tan” piece! ^- lol!

Whatever. GW is so cool. I picked up an orange and said “hello senator!” GW laughed- hard. He squeezed my hand and said he was going to call me ‘tiny’ cause I’d be considered slim in Texas.

I should win a fucking journalism award- some asshole from knight ridder asked scotty if it was strange that G could get so much cash to florida so fast as opposed to nyc after 9-11. I did one of those “snow job” cough things- you know, a fake cough and was really saying snow job, then the guy turns around and says “excuse me?” and I just looked at him like “Yeah, like you’ll get a development deal to write a teen alienation drama for abc- not” and then i said- “how about being objective or do you write for a magazine?” scotty laughed and at lunch said he had a couple of agents who i could call in december! don’t worry I’m going to hook you up too!

stressed!

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:48 am

hey guys,
Trying out new blog software. I like it. I’ve decided to let J W. post here too. As long as only the four or five of us can read this and she doesn’t act too bitchy I say why not.
Still getting flack over that whole poll issue. I’ve promised myself that next time I write a piece on a poll I read the whole poll- as if! lol :)

Honestly though, people are complaining about the “sample"- just because 36% of the people in the poll say they voted for Bush in 2000 and 28% say they voted for Gore in 2000, doesn’t mean they did! If the 2000 election was 49-48 for Gore then these people who we polled were obviously lying or mis-speaking (hello!). Sample, sample, sample! I am sorry if readers don’t like that our poll had Bush up by 8 points, but if I hear the word sample again! It’s like it’s a federal case or something. Why can’t people lighten up? I’m a liberal! OMG almost forgot! Saw Broder at the Soviet Safeway. Gave me a thumbs up sign. If only!

9/29/2004

Welcome To My Private Diary!

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:48 pm

Welcome to my personal diary! This blog is intended to be written for a PRIVATE audience. I hope to get into a posting rhythm soon. For now, I have to get back to work looking over poll numbers from Gallup and Frank Luntz. They do an excellent job of oversampling Republicans.


Welcome to my personal diary! This blog is intended to be written for a PRIVATE audience. If you email me and ask for permissions I may give it to you, but not likely.