The Private Diary of Adam Nagourney


It’s April fools- duh!

Filed under: — Adam @ 8:01 pm

what up hags!
More proof that liberals have no sense of humor:( That ullltra liberal, in your face, Americablog guy fell for my April fools joke. I mean hello? I worte that piece almost 18 months ago. The fucked up thing is I handed it in to the Times and they fell for it too. Eww. I hope I don’t get in trouble like Judy.

The funny thing is, this:

Bloggers, for all the benefits they might bring to both parties, have proved to be a complicating political influence for Democrats. They have tugged the party consistently to the left, particularly on issues like the war, and have been openly critical of such moderate Democrats as Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut.

Was the only thing I was serious about.

I mean, a. leftists are against the Iraq war. b. when you have two people running in a primary is it not more complicated than having only one person running? Answer, it is less complicated. NOT. It is mathematically proven that it is twice as complicated. TAKE A MATH COURSE, AMERICASBLOG! d. How can Lieberman be considered “conservative” like Americasblog says when Joe Lieberman is, in FACT, Jewish? e. Right wing blogs don’t complicate things for Republicans- they help Republicans- because they are not liberal. If Right blogs were liberal, then, of course they would complicate things for Republicans because Republicans are moderate and for the war! f. who the frig is Ben Domech?- like I care, queenbiaaatch!

What AMERICASBLOG does not get is that I am liberal. But I HELP the Democrats by not writing liberal things, that way they are not complicated. I tell them what they are doing wrong, I have no agenda about them, I am just making sure I do well, which is less complicated for Democrats. If you cared more about yourself you would not right liberal stuff and get a real job. GET IT! Have you been on Charlie Rose? What? Oh, you said no. Cause I have! What is more interesting to Charlie Rose? Republican bloggers are racist and plagerize or things are complicated? I love howbloggers like to talk about nuance and then when I write about nuance they get all pissy. AND IT WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!

That is why when I see blogs…. I hit DELETE!

p.s. I saw that greek guy Atrios on the West Wing—-uh, not cool at all, Total GEEK! HA HA! :)



Filed under: — Adam @ 11:17 am

Hey Hags. :(

I’m pissed. I know I haven’t been keeping up with my personal journal here. Well, it’s because I’ve been working on a huge piece on the blogosphere and how stupid blogs are and how dumb blogs are and how they think they can do stuff about elections even though they don’t work at the GD Ny Times- Ha . Anywaysy, I’ve been holding off writing here for nearly a year as I worked on this thing I’m writing- sort of like a spy- didn’t want to tip off any of the blogosphere blogpeople that i was working on this piece or otherwise- huh. I was just going to say if I tipped them off that I was writing about blogs then they wouldn’t talk to me…. but I didn’t talk to any of them anyways. HELLO? I need some coffee!

Anyhoos, the point is now some ass has leaked (I didn’t even realise how gross what I just wrote was when I was writing it. I totally swear!) that I am writing the piece that slammos the blogs that I bragged about to Tim Russert when I saw him at Starbucks. (did I blog about that? He is sooo tall) He didn’t promise me a guestie, but I did have the chance to tell him I wasn’t at USAtoday anymore!

I still bet this gets me on Rose quicker than the piece I was going to rerun on Kerry.

how’s mariage, Mrs. HowsitGoren (hah hah- is that funny or are you pissed?)?


Karl Rove

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:16 pm

What is the deal with the media in Washington? It is painfully clear that Karl Rove did NOT say specifically that Mrs. Wilson was a CIA operative. He said “Wilson’s Wife” in the conversation with Matt. Last time I checked “Wilson’s Wife” does not equal “Valerie Plame".

Heck, Karl and I go way back. In all of my interviews with him, he’s only gossiped about classified information like four times. Mr. Rove even told me that the covert ops name that sent Mr. Wilson began with the letter “v” and ended with letter “e". See, he didn’t literally say her name and thus it was NOT leaked.

I miss you Karl. Call. Please.


I Found Him! Mehlman on MTP

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:24 am

There he is.


Damn Blogger

Filed under: — Adam @ 10:10 pm

When are you going to realize that I was right, The handover of power brought sovereignty to Iraq. Sovereignty means some reduction of US casualties. Why would causalities rise when people are given their country back? You probably think that it’ll take the withdrawal of the United States Army to achieve that. Stupid lib.

Congress is in recess but that doesn’t mean the Nag is taking a day off from chasing down Kenneth Mehlman… (more on that l8er ;) )


Payback’s a bitch

Filed under: — Adam @ 12:42 am

But I did it without even having to do any research. Finally the Pope died and I could do a dems in trouble- schiavo tie in, w/ a religious extremism is ok with the us public double lindy. Check it- new Pope might be republican

Got through this whole piece without even mentioning the old Pope’s position against the Iraq war and how that didn’t mean diddly and I’m not even wearing underwear.

I rock biaaatches!



Filed under: — Adam @ 2:10 am

Brooksy gave me the green light to go after the Christians. Karl says Delay can’t keep it in his pants - apparently Delay is in some ethics situation or something (where have I been? :) ) and needed a cause - fast.

Anyhoo, Brooksy said that Karl said that I had a pass and I was like - I don’t have to go and he was like - no, I mean to say that the big guys are fighting, and I was like they’re fighting? and he was like just write it. WHATEVER! I can’t believe how fat Brooksy’s gotten. He and Friedman could be tag team sumos, of course then they’d have to travel to Japan and Friedman would be sending out his stupid travel log emails. I’m in Japan and a funny thing happened when I ordered my sushi, blah blah blah

I mean, what are they feeding them in the op-ed cafeteria that makes them so fat- Bill Safire’s guilt? Jesus- I’m on fire tonight! growwwl!


I’ve been Schmitzed

Filed under: — Adam @ 7:49 pm

Doug Schmitz USED :( to be my favorite columnist at the conservative supersite

Recall the hissy fit the media leftists threw about Fox News White House Correspondent Carl Cameron when he was traveling with the Kerry campaign: Cameron, who’s one of the best White House correspondents in Washington, referred to John Kerry as a “metrosexual” in a private e-mail about Kerry’s over-the-top grooming habits. But it was inadvertently posted on and, subsequently, the pro-Kerry media pounced.

But these same leftist reporters never said a word when New York Times reporter and Bush-hater Adam Nagourney posted, in his “personal diary” on his Web site, false allegations about Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman.

Bush-hater?! How could you Doug? I nailed John Kerry every chance I got and this is my thanks! What was wrong with what I said about Kenneth? He’s totally straight and by straight I mean totally gay.

You used to be my first stop during my daily read of the You used to be there when I needed some rock solid conservative commentary. I’ll still visit but I am done with being Schmitzed. From now on it’s only Irwin N. Graulich on MichNews for Adam Nagourney.


I Want to be a White House Hooker

Filed under: — Adam @ 4:38 pm

Now what alias should I use?? I’m thinking of possibly going with Alex Hagourney because Alex is SO much easier to say than Adam.

In studying GannonGuckert I found that the logical next step to breaking through White House security is to grab several male escort domains to promote my own hooker services. I am thinking something along the lines of More on that later…

The final step in the JeffJames GannonGuckert White House Hooker transformation process is to boost your journalistic credibility by having a degree in Physical Education from a state school in Pennsylvania. This will ensure I am in top shape for my “clients.”

Maybe if I can complete the above I too could receive unprecedented access to the Bush administration. I want to fill the void left by James D. Guckert and become the White House Hooker.


2012 & 2016

Filed under: — Adam @ 1:52 am

Two nights ago I finished my 2008 horserace 1000 worder and was half way into a bottle of chardonay. My psoriasis was acting up and the phone hadn’t rung in three days - you’re all bitches- I was going to do a Will & Grace marathon until i found out my tivo erased them all to record the Grahm Norton eps I missed! Anyhoo, I was grooving so I wrote up my 2012 & 2016 pieces too, just in case I die.

God I hope they are still called Democrats and Republicans- though I guess i could just use my find and replace. But wait, not if i was dead.

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